Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Utter drivel.
So, it's been ages since I've written anything here. What have I been up to? Very little.
Things at the bike shop slowed down a LOT after Christmas, I was reduced to two days per week in an effort to save the shop some money. I was fine with this, frankly. You can only clean and arrange everything in the shop just so many times.
Even after my schedule adjustment things continued to slow down, so after a while I volunteered to "lay myself off" because it was almost more trouble than it was worth to spend two days per week trying to generate busy-work. There were no repairs and practically no customers. I'm officially "on call", but I've yet to be called. I'm told that business is picking up slowly and that when Spring gets into full swing I'll definitely be needed again.
What have I been doing with all my free time? Again, very little. I was unfortunately introduced to World Of Warcraft (the MMORPG) and have spent a good deal of time developing the talents and skills of imaginary characters rather than my own. It's amazing, if not precedent-setting, how addictive WoW is. I have logged on for the sole purpose of checking the status of items I put up for auction and three (or more!) hours later realized that I'd done NONE of the house-work I'd sworn myself to do. But I'd leveled once and done three dungeons! Ugh.
What else... I've been NOT sitting, although I've been reading some books that really make me WANT to start sitting again. It's amazing to me that even though I know without a shadow of a doubt that sitting will be entirely beneficial to me and those who have to interact with me (hiya, Jen!), I cannot get myself to sit on that zafu and DO IT! Argh! What the hell is that about? I suspect that it's the desperate throes of the ego trying to protect itself from the full-frontal assault that is zazen. Every single morning I think, "I could go sit right now. It's quiet and I've not made myself busy yet, this is the moment!" Then I turn on the TV (or worse, the computer and its seductive distractions) and don't sit. It's hilariously stupid.
All of this "free" time has allowed me to become something of a shut-in. I've been neglecting friends and family, neglecting myself (read: getting fat and even smellier!) and so on and on. When you turn to WoW (or whatever) for social interaction instead of riding your bike (me, I'm looking at YOU) or being with your friends, then you're altogether missing your life and probably making others sad. Even doing this feels like a distraction from doing things which need to be done. Of course, nobody is as hard on me about this stuff as I am, but the fact remains: I'm just killing time. This kind of "free" time is also fertile ground for me to over-think everything which - if it were a marketable skill - I could make bank on as a master of the art. Maybe I could give seminars.
So, this is my blanket apology to friends and family: I'm terribly sorry for having neglected and/or ignored you. You're all great.
Things at the bike shop slowed down a LOT after Christmas, I was reduced to two days per week in an effort to save the shop some money. I was fine with this, frankly. You can only clean and arrange everything in the shop just so many times.
Even after my schedule adjustment things continued to slow down, so after a while I volunteered to "lay myself off" because it was almost more trouble than it was worth to spend two days per week trying to generate busy-work. There were no repairs and practically no customers. I'm officially "on call", but I've yet to be called. I'm told that business is picking up slowly and that when Spring gets into full swing I'll definitely be needed again.
What have I been doing with all my free time? Again, very little. I was unfortunately introduced to World Of Warcraft (the MMORPG) and have spent a good deal of time developing the talents and skills of imaginary characters rather than my own. It's amazing, if not precedent-setting, how addictive WoW is. I have logged on for the sole purpose of checking the status of items I put up for auction and three (or more!) hours later realized that I'd done NONE of the house-work I'd sworn myself to do. But I'd leveled once and done three dungeons! Ugh.
What else... I've been NOT sitting, although I've been reading some books that really make me WANT to start sitting again. It's amazing to me that even though I know without a shadow of a doubt that sitting will be entirely beneficial to me and those who have to interact with me (hiya, Jen!), I cannot get myself to sit on that zafu and DO IT! Argh! What the hell is that about? I suspect that it's the desperate throes of the ego trying to protect itself from the full-frontal assault that is zazen. Every single morning I think, "I could go sit right now. It's quiet and I've not made myself busy yet, this is the moment!" Then I turn on the TV (or worse, the computer and its seductive distractions) and don't sit. It's hilariously stupid.
All of this "free" time has allowed me to become something of a shut-in. I've been neglecting friends and family, neglecting myself (read: getting fat and even smellier!) and so on and on. When you turn to WoW (or whatever) for social interaction instead of riding your bike (me, I'm looking at YOU) or being with your friends, then you're altogether missing your life and probably making others sad. Even doing this feels like a distraction from doing things which need to be done. Of course, nobody is as hard on me about this stuff as I am, but the fact remains: I'm just killing time. This kind of "free" time is also fertile ground for me to over-think everything which - if it were a marketable skill - I could make bank on as a master of the art. Maybe I could give seminars.
So, this is my blanket apology to friends and family: I'm terribly sorry for having neglected and/or ignored you. You're all great.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
